"We do not remember the days, we remember the moments." - Cesare Pavese
It's part of our humanity to do our best to hold on to good memories. We will go to great lengths to hold tightly to the memories we want etched on our souls. We acquire souvenirs from an event or location where great memories are made in hopes that it will help remind us of those moments. We collect artifacts from an important event in hopes that we can prove to others that we were there for that moment. Billions of dollars are spent every year on memorabilia; objects valued for their connection to historical events. All throughout our homes we see photographs of moments caught through a lens. On my phone alone I have the capability of taking video, photos and even voice recordings. The phone companies know what society wants and they've made it a priority to provide us with the capability of capturing moments--and they know we will pay big bucks for those capabilities. Have you seen how much it costs to have moments captured at a wedding? We pay it because we don't want to risk forgetting those moments. It's worth it to us. We value the moments and will do anything we can to capture them so we can return to those moments at our convenience.
We value the moments because they are a part of who we are. They have shaped us into the people we are today. It's not the days which determine who we are, it's the experiences we have in life. It's the moments.
We're willing to go to great lengths to remember the moments because it's impossible to recreate those moments. Moments happen only once. To capture a moment on video or through a still lens will never be an adequate "capture" of the real moment. Moments are only truly lived when you are fully "in" the moment. Everything else is a sort-of counterfeit.
Don't get me wrong, I use my camera and I take video because I want to be reminded of those moments. I want to be able to go back to those moments, but I can never fully relive those moments through a screen. I even sometimes wonder if we miss the moments because we are trying too hard to capture them. I don't know. It's just a "wonder" I've had.
I'm glad I have moments with Thomas to reflect on. Yes, we have an incredible amount of photographs and videos of Thomas--and they are priceless to us--but we thank God for the moments with him that are etched on our souls.
Moments like . . .
When Amy or I would walk in the front door and his eyes would light up while saying "Da Da" or "Ma Ma." He would quickly scoot across the floor to us and raise his arms up when he made it to our feet. We would reach down and lift him up into our arms. You could sense that he was so content in our arms and we were so content to be holding him.
Moments like . . .
When Amy or I would be up with him late at night because he was sick or just scared to be in his room. We would sit together in the recliner or on the couch in the silent darkness. He would lay his head on our chest as we rocked him and kissed him on top of his head. Just when you thought he we was asleep he would look up and point to the kitchen and say "nack." He always got his "nack" because we were so caught up in the moment.
Moments like . . .
When we would watch our other kids love on him. When Lucy would carry him around, give him hugs and kisses and he would call her "seesy." When Samuel would play ball with him and Thomas would get so excited to do anything with his oldest "Bubba." When Eli would put a pair of pants on his head and run toward Thomas, stopping just before crashing into him. Thomas would belly laugh so hard over and over that we feared he might throw up. When all three of them would give him hugs before he went to bed and he would smile and say "night, night."
Moments like . . .
When he would swing on the swings, dance to the music, scoot onto the soccer field in the middle of the game, go down the slide, play in the pool, ride in the wagon, drive the trike backwards, shoot baskets in his basketball goal, make a scooting trail through baseball field, play wii with a remote he thought was working, switch channels on the tv, play with my iphone, play with the dogs, cuddle his "baaaybeee," make holes in the seat of his pants from scooting, throw dirt, plop on top of me while wrestling, look longingly out the window, color on the floor, play in the fire pit, blow kisses, throw things off the deck, refuse to admit he pooped his pants, beg for a "nack," looking for him in church, begging for two rocks to hold, riding on my shoulders, going up and down the stairs, playing "peek-a-boo" with Amy, playing with Amy's hair . . .
All moments can be captured synthetically, but you can only truly "capture" them by living them in real time. Don't forget to enjoy the moments you have in life. Take pictures and shoot video--you'll be glad you did--but don't forget to live the moments. It's only by living the moments that you truly get to enjoy them.
We thank God for the moments we had with Thomas. He's a special little guy and we're jealous that God is getting to have these moments with him now. I bet God is loving it as much as we did.
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